Business review: Tucson Window and Door; (My darling, Home Ownership is A Labor)

And not necessarily one of love

Friend, Tucsonan, Pine Tree, Reluctant Citizen of the Neighbor to the North of Mexico, Friend of the Earth,

It has been hard to write when my problems are so tiny compared to those of one of my birth mother’s (the beautiful U.S. of A.), that I simply don’t know how they can’t be trite. But. Consider this a diversion, and maybe even fun, if you find listening to whining fun.

I am writing to discourage you from owning a home. And, if you already find yourself in this arrangement, to encourage you to divest yourself of such a strange and lively beast. And, if home ownership is something you have aspired to and are maybe even saving towards, to encourage something easier for you, dear reader, like maybe managing a region for Costco would fill that void.

I am also writing to complain about a charming salesman named N. who works for Tucson Window and Door, who sold me a bill of goods and a pack of lies and some snake oil and a story and a dream! He was a good salesman! But do you own a home, N.? I am not vindictive so I do not wish that you did or do, however, I feel that you don’t know my pain. How is Google Reviews going to love this story? Dear Reader, I will keep you posted!

Anyhow my charming home was made by the third pig in the well known fairy tale, so of course you already know it was made of twigs, and when it was time for my windows framed by rotting twigs to be replaced I asked dear N. if Tucson Window and Door could indeed do the job. Three windows, mind you! N. said of course they could and they even had a man who could replace those twigs with bricks! I was sold and I gave them over four thousand dollars as a deposit! True, sadly true.

The contractor they sent to do the brickwork was named Johnny M., and in this story he plays the part of the big bad wolf. Because, (here if you are my friend IRL feel free to quit the chat since I have likely talked to you about this ad nauseam) he actually left my house WORSE than he found it, or his trusty employees did, rather.

Okay I’m already bored with my story so my point is trifold:

DO NOT HIRE TUCSON WINDOW AND DOOR BECAUSE THEY WILL NOT STAND BEHIND THEIR WORK. I had literal HOLES in my house that were WINDOW SIZED boarded up only partially with plywood so that literally rats, snakes, mice, and very tiny people could squeeze through, for OVER A WEEK in the 30 DEGREE TEMPERATURES!

My darling, I had to move out of the god damn house.

How did this make me feel, you ask?

Old, bad, sad, mad, and as the children say: triggered.

But more importantly is that Johnny M. did not care. And, only true friends are still reading but maybe don’t actually care either, Johnny M. took the actual bricks from the little patios I made in my yard with my own two sweet hands and he BUILT THEM INTO MY HOUSE. And not well, mind you. There is a line of mortar that is larger than a Big Mac. But only one.

I forget my third point but my fourth is this: I AM NOT A RICH MAN. In fact I am a woman and I work in education and could literally make more money hawking the bricks from my yard. But alas. I cannot. They have been built into my house.

(Also, Yelp readers may want to know that Johnny M. left my wooden window frames looking hacked to bits, and literally hacked into a cupboard abutting the window.)

Here is a quote from Mike from Tucson Window And Door along with everyone else who has seen my house lately, “I literally have no idea why anyone would do that.”

The thing is: accountability. If someone would just say: we can fix your problem, or even we are sorry for your problem, or best yet WE CREATED YOUR PROBLEM, then I would be fine. I am not a litigious or angry person by nature. Or at least, I didn’t used to be.

But now my loves, I get to dance with the Registrar of Contractors! AND I DO NOT WANT TO DANCE WITH THEM. Remember, I am employed! I don’t freakin have time for this! And perhaps a little dance on the side with the Better Business Bureau and Small Claims Court.

And the icing on the homeowner cake is this: I now have roof rats.

Yes, friend, I am going to blame N., even though he likely did not cause the roof rats. But he lead me down a dark path to a man who left holes in my home and so yes, I blame him. I blame him very much.

In conclusion, I realize at this late point if I post this as a product review people will dismiss me as nuts. BRING IT ON!!! Just kidding. I’m just a girl, sitting in front of a roof rat, asking it to please leave me the hell alone.

xoxo

G.E.M.